I begin with a reading from Terry Stafford, Director of Religious Education, Beacon Unitarian Church in Coquitlam, B.C.

Today's parents face some unprecedented challenges, among them teaching children to lead full lives in a diverse, multicultural society. It's hard for parents to do this kind of training alone, so being a part of the church community is invaluable. Parents need the ongoing support and encouragement of others who share their values. Unitarian Children's Programs provide an opportunity for children to learn strong values. Like all parents, Unitarian parents want their children to develop a reliable sense of integrity, and for them to be compassionate members of society and family. Unitarians want their children to keep open to their own inner knowing, their own innate sense of spirituality, of connectedness. We want them to learn to trust themselves, the environment we bring them into, and ultimately to take responsibility to make their world more trustworthy. We want them to grow up knowing that it matters that they are alive; that they make a difference.

. . . Often people don't even think about attending a church until their children ask "What is God?" Most of us are, in fact, struck dumb by these questions and filled with awe, about the unanswerables in life. We know however we respond to this young human being will have a lasting impact on how she perceives her world and her place in it. It is in moments like this that concerned parents wonder if there is out there somewhere a circle of wise spiritual teachers that would provide support.

What a wonderful piece! I don't think I can possibly improve on it, or even add much to those thoughts. What I particularly like is the way Stafford ends with a "wondering," a kind of musing question:

. . . concerned parents wonder if there is out there somewhere a circle of wise spiritual teachers that would provide support . . .

I have a feeling that the teachers in our own Religious Education Programme, and our Director of Religious Education, and our Religious Education Committee and its Chair, would be very reluctant indeed, as I would, to accept a description of ourselves as "wise spiritual teachers." We know that for the most part we're much more stumbling than that. But we can take enormous comfort from some words with which Terry Stafford prefaced that reading. She (or maybe it's he; I'm not sure) asked a rhetorical question:

Do children need religion? They already have their own religion -- a fragile, precious inborn sense of spirituality. As the father of a six-year-old said, "Watching Stevie chase a butterfly across a field, or bite into an apple, I can see that there is an innate spirituality, an embracing of life as a gift. I guess my main job is not to mess it up!"

That's the main thought I want to offer for your consideration today: that there is an innate spirituality, an embracing of life as a gift in children, and that our main job as parents and teachers and participants in this community of all ages is not to mess it up!

As I suggested in the newsletter description of this talk, there seems to me to be a high level of interest among us in how we can best educate our children - and ourselves - to live responsibly and courageously in the world. Over and over again we find ourselves saying that "education is the answer" to so many of society's dilemmas, and we say it as if we all know what education is. I tend to think, though, that most of us don't know as much as we might wish to about how the process of learning takes place, in congregations, in families, in society. Like most of you, I'm by no means an expert in this field, but I've undertaken to explore with you today some of the ways in which I think we can, and should, and do influence each other's religious development, in our homes, where most of us spend most of our time, as well as here.

I'm also conscious of the fact that today marks the beginning of our annual canvass, and I want to suggest that one of the prime reasons to support this congregation is that here we gather strength to do those very things - to stir minds and awaken souls, and therefore to contribute to the betterment of the world. I took my title from some words within the writings of William Ellery Channing, a great 19th century Unitarian, and we shall use part of that writing as our responsive reading after my reflections. I'm also greatly indebted to many of the educational resources of the Unitarian Universalist Association, including the main internet website.

One thing that occurred to me as I was preparing this reflection, and also thinking about the current negotiations concerning delivery of services between the UUA and the CUC, was that it's comforting to know the amazing resources of the internet will still be available! There's little doubt in my mind that one of the ways is which we, and our children even more, learn today is through "the world-wide web." This is true for each of us, even if we don't possess or have direct access to a computer, because this particular technology is affecting our global consciousness as surely as radio and television did in the last century, whether or not we used them ourselves. I think communication technology is stirring minds; whether it's also awakening souls is not quite as clear to me, and I'll be interested in your thoughts on this. It may be up to us, as parents and educators, to add whatever extra ingredient it is that awakens the souls of those around us, regardless of age, and avoids messing up their innate spirituality.

That phrase, "regardless of age," is one which I'd like you to hear, if you can, as underlying everything I say this morning. I don't think we stop learning, or needing to learn, at any particular age, though I know from experience that learning becomes harder and slower with every year that goes by. If I seem to be talking particularly about children at any point, please keep in mind that the main reason for that is that we usually feel a greater responsibility for educating those among us whose minds and beings are younger, more impressionable and open to learning and therefore more vulnerable. But I do believe that stirring minds and awakening souls is applicable to and for each one of us, regardless of age. I also believe, and will expand on this later, that what we learn as adults affects what the children around us learn.

It's in the interaction between two or more people that education takes place, and most often the people are not of identical ages. The age or stage we're at on our spiritual journey as we engage in trying to stir someone's mind may in fact be a crucial element in the educational process. Roberta and Christopher Nelson, Unitarians who wrote the curriculum "Parents as Resident Theologians," point out that our children, or others with whom we're engaged in teaching and learning, need us to share where we are without negating where they are. The Nelsons say that our experience with children indicates that they progress through many phases in evolving their religious concepts, and that their expanding views need an environment that nurtures and nourishes the quest.

This is true for us all, I believe, and I feel quite passionately that it's a major part of what this congregation provides - an environment that nurtures the quest for truth and meaning without ever putting down the stage which has been reached, particularly if that stage happens to involve ideas which we feel we have outgrown. As the educator Robert Kegan says, "It is hardest to be tolerant of those ideas which we have just left behind," but in this congregation we're encouraged to stretch towards that tolerance, recognizing that we may return to our early beliefs at some point, discovering fresh truth in them, becoming like little children.

Yes, I am suggesting that we have as much to learn from our children as to teach them. They can stir up our minds and awaken our souls - I think this is a large part of why people enjoy teaching in our children's programme, and why they want to support support intergenerational activities which nurture growth whatever our age. One of the things I specially celebrate in this congregation is the way our children are with us for the first part of every service. Perhaps you don't know that that's not so in all UU congregations - in some places, the children go straight to classes, perhaps coming in to the service for a little while just once a month. Circumstances differ, and there are usually good reasons for choosing to do it that way - such as simply not having space for children and adults all in one place! - but I'm really glad we're able to do it this way and that in every service there's a "Time For All Ages."

On the UUA website, in the Religious Education section, I came across an article about storytelling which made me think some more about how counterproductive it may be to try to think about children's education as separate from adult education. The article says,

Hearing about their parents as children, being able to relate to the same feelings that they had, helps them to begin to see that they are part of something beyond themselves. Telling them of special events and family members gives them pride in who they are.

I thought of the stories we heard from the founders of this congregation last October, and how good it was to relate to the feelings of those people who did so much to establish this community and ensure that it would endure. All of us who listened were helped to see that in belonging here we're part of something beyond ourselves. Hearing of the milestones in our history, and the names of people who were at the forefront of activity in the early days, did indeed contribute to our pride in who we are. We need to tell the stories and establish the continuity of this congregation's life. I wonder how many of you who came here for the first time after the move to this building have walked or driven by the old house on Allen Street and stopped to imagine all the Unitarian happenings that took place there. If you're parents, take your children by there one day, perhaps with someone who can tell them some of the Allen Street stories!

That same article about stories pointed out that we have opportunities, with our children (and I think with each other) to counteract negatives with positives, to avoid messing up the innate spirituality in each of us. I quote:

. . . we can tell the stories we want them to hear. We may not always approve of the messages that they receive through the media. By telling your stories, you can let them know what you feel is important, and can balance some of the other messages they may be receiving.

Stories can also be used to develop self-esteem, and to encourage behaviors and character traits . . . tell your children stories about when they were little . . . by sharing these stories we can make our children feel proud of themselves. They see themselves as the main characters; or heroes of their own stories; stories that we consider important enough to retell.

Oh yes, this is true for all ages, isn't it? What messages are you getting from the media - that you don't measure up to some standard of achievement or lifestyle or majority opinion? The stories that we tell one another here - about when we were little as a congregation, about how some way in which we've contributed here has made an important difference, about the joy it gives others to see you in Founders Hall on a Sunday morning - these can make us feel proud of ourselves, heroes of our own Waterloo Unitarian story.

And the story is still being written - each one of us still has the chance to be as significant a character in it as we want to be! One of the things you might want to talk with your canvasser about when she or he visits is the part you want to play in the tales that will be told ten or twenty years from now, perhaps by some of the children here in Unitarian House today. We're giving them now the material for the stories they'll tell. The story might be as simple as the one told by Rev. Martha Munson, who grew up in a Universalist congregation and says she doesn't remember anything she was told there, but she remembers with absolute clarity how it felt to be there. It felt warm and welcoming, and that was such an important lesson for Martha that she decided to devote her whole working life to making other children and adults feel that way.

One of the programmes we've been focusing on recently in this congregation is about how to be a more welcoming congregation to a diversity of people, particularly those of varying sexual orientations. Some constructive critics of the programme have pointed out how important it is that we not lose sight of the many other kinds of diversity we want to encourage. Until recently, I hadn't thought much about how children, as well as adults, can be helped to become more welcoming of diversity. This may be partly because it's been well-documented that children are naturally less prone to discrimination than adults - as the song from "South Pacific" says, "You have to be taught to hate." But because prejudice is so easily and almost inevitably learned, it seems very worthwhile to explore the ways is which we can help counteract it. Here are some suggestions from UU Religious Educators.

Diversity training begins in the family. There are simple, gentle steps you can take to guide your children toward tolerance and acceptance and steer them away from bias and bigotry. For instance, on an evening when rice is part of the family meal, discuss how in different families and cultures, rice is prepared differently. Talk about the differences, as well as the commonalities among people. Notice aloud how much variety there is in our world -- buildings, games, books, foods, plants, animals, activities, etc. and how these differences make our lives more exciting. Invite family members to talk about the diversity they have observed. Discuss whether any of you have been the target of prejudice in some way, and how it felt. Notice differences of skin color, hair texture, and other physical characteristics, validating the curiosity which children naturally feel.

Help your children learn more about your family's ethnic backgrounds and culture.

Many children with European ancestry may think they don't have an ethnic background at all! It's important for children to realize that their ancestors had customs, values, stories, rituals, etc. that are an important part of who they are. You might want to create a family tree. Start by recalling the relatives you know and then ask those who are living to recall the relatives they knew. I find it interesting to reflect on the fact that it's the odd, unconventional characters, diverse in personality who we invariably remember most. I think of my quiet, shy little great-aunt Molly, who lived with her brother on the family farm and was known to have lost much of her small income by gambling - she fancied herself a judge of horseracing form, but wasn't really very good at it!

I've presented to you some general ideas about the philosophy of Unitarian Universalist Religious Education, and some more specific suggestions for ways to stir minds and awaken souls. You will probably have noticed that inherent in all these is a concern for enhancing a child's sense of inherent worth and dignity - nurturing self-esteem. You may also remember that early in my talk I mentioned my conviction that everything I would say is equally applicable to adults and children. I want to end by underscoring both those points - the importance of nurturing self-esteem and the applicability to all ages by sharing something from my own life - a painful part of it, in some ways, but definitely a learning experience! Much of what I've said up to this point, while I think it's very sound, is a little theoretical or second-hand, but this next is something I know from the inside out and feel quite passionate about.

Some of you have heard me say before that maybe I wasn't particularly suited to mothering. Although I have a good relationship with all three of my daughters now, I think my parenting of them was over-controlling and less joyful than it could have been. It might have helped me to have taken a course in UU Parenting, but I didn't discover Unitarians till my children were all in their teens. Much more important a factor than any re-educating I might have found, however, was my own upbringing and the feelings that I had about myself. The parenting and schooling I'd had (which weren't terrible, just imperfect), combined with my innate temperament, somehow ensured that I'd spend a large part of my life trying to make things turn out my way, suffering agonies when they didn't, and venting my frustrations on helpless others, mainly my children. I've changed somewhat, thank God, though I haven't entirely overcome the lack of self-esteem that I began with.

I think that nurturing self-esteem is absolutely crucial to our efforts to stir minds and awaken souls. And I think it's as crucial at age 40 or twice 40 as it is at age four. May we not forget that if we are to help children have that sense of a warm and welcoming place here in which their innate curiosity and spirituality is nurtured and helped to mature, one of the very best things we can do is to help their parents and the other adults around them feel that way. That's where we all have a vital role to play. Doesn't matter what your age, whether you have children or not, whether you're part of the formal Religious Education programme or not.

If you're part of this congregation, you're part of the effort to stir minds and awaken souls - and the way you do it may be through a story you tell someone about how they've been important to you, a question you ask about their health or their happiness, or - even more likely - through a smile or a hug. Each of us, because of how we've been treated, has a different capacity to pass on a sense self-esteem, of joy in being, but each of us, I think, can stretch our capacity just a little wider. We'll be helping to make this congregation a more loving and joyful community, where minds of all ages are stirred and spirits of all ages are wakened. And, just in case you thought I'd forgotten - who wouldn't want to give generously to such a congregation! To recap words from last night,

Take courage, friends; 'tis not too late to make a better world.

Take courage, friends: we are not alone; we are not alone.