This title came to me as I caught a little bit of a television programme about British comedy and its contributions to North American culture. Some of you probably watch the show with this title, about the staff of a department store, I think -- the phrase is one which we might say in Canada-speak as "Are you being looked after?" As your Minister, I often think about how our congregation meets (or misses!) the needs of its members and friends, and about ways we might do it better. One of the outcomes of my thinking over the past few months has been that I’ve begun to plan, along with the Board, to initiate some kind of "small group ministry" in the congregation.

This form of ministry is one that’s proved successful in many places in keeping a sense of intimacy and effective pastoral care as a congregation grows beyond the point at which everyone can know everyone else -- the point we’re going to be at very soon, if we haven’t passed it already! The general idea is for the congregation to form small groups of 10-12 people who’ll be able to relate to one another in a personal way that’s not otherwise possible. It tries to recognize that one of the main reasons you come to Unitarian House is for a sense of community. Many of you come for other reasons as well, or even instead -- intellectual stimulation, perhaps, and small groups certainly could help with that need, too. Many of us who crave food for our minds find it most of all in discussion with others, and usually with not too large a crowd.

UU minister Rev. Glenn Turner, who’s one of the people largely responsible for the growing commitment to small group ministry in our congregations, has suggested we benefit from exploring this question of why we, or anyone we know, decided to be part of a Unitarian Universalist congregation. We didn’t join in order to be on the Property Committee, or to keep the books, or even to teach in the Religious Education programme. We most likely came in order to be with others in a search for truth, love and justice. When people are asked what they want in a congregation, these are the reasons they give: religous community, inspiration, intellectual stimulation, friends, shared values, support in a spiritual journey. We don’t expect conformity; in fact, we welcome diversity. But most of us do want respect for our own way of being, and we’re willing to grant that to others, as well, although we don’t always find it easy.

We come together in our congregations, says Glenn Turner, "to enrich and enhance our lives with others, and to proclaim with our shared strength our vision and our mission". We begin with vision -- the collective expression of the hopes and yearnings of the people in the congregation. It includes our reasons for committing ourselves to attend and support the congregation. We have a vision of love, of social and economic justice, of the goodness that can be brought out in people. Then that’s distilled into a mission, a statement that says what we’re about as a religous community. (And yes, you’re right -- we’re working on a mission statement for our own congregation right now!) Turner gives an example of a mission statement that fits into the context of small group ministry; here it is:

I believe that the mission of our Unitarian Universalist Congregation is to address the social isolation and rootlessness that is characteristic of modern life, to minister to the hurts and hopes of those in our community, and to radically define our community beyond our membership borders, seeking to bring other people who need our support into our congregation and into our lives.

Turner suggests that a mission statement like that points to our twin responsibility to serve those who are members of our societies and those around us who could benefit from knowing about us. He thinks that it’s better to approach our mission more from a sense of ministry to people’s hurts and hopes than from an intellectual position. He wants us to consciously attempt to break down our tendency toward like-minded elitism, with the race and class barriers which exist in most of our congregations. Turner points out that another name for small group ministry is the "meta-church" concept. Meta means, simply, transforming. Small group ministry brings about change and transformation.

A spin-off effect of small group ministry, when it’s done well, is that it nurtures community so successfully that the groups grow. So we have to deal with growth both as a reason for small group ministry and an effect of it! We start the small groups because we’re growing, and we want to continue to grow but to stay intimate, too, and we find that the small groups attract more people. Most Unitarian Universalist congregations -- and I think this one is not much different -- most seem to think of prospective growth as attracting just enough new people to pay the bills and maybe add a little more meeting room or parking space. That usually translates into about 50 to 150 more members over about five or 10 years. The fear that goes along with this prospect is about how we can successfully integrate and know new people. The fear is loss of community. How can we know each other the way we do now, or the way we used to, if we get much larger? The fears keep us small: two thirds of UU congregations are smaller than 150 members. (That’s not just in Canada, but in the U.S. as well.) But is there a way of growing that will avoid that loss of community? Turner, and many others now, believe that there is, in the concept of small-group ministry.

Congregations seem to grow when most of the newcomers are integrated into one of the groups within the congregation. If there are few groups, other than committees, the choir and a few programmes (valuable though these are), it’s hard to make friends. Roy Oswald, from the Alban Institute, who gave a course I attended last April, says that you have to make 6 friends in the first 6 months or you won’t stay in a congregation. Overall, seven out of nine people who come in the front door of a religious building to worship don’t stay in the long term. The reverse is true for people who come into the congregation through small groups. There they meet and bond with others. There they are known and welcomed. There they are called by name.

Even in small congregations, where supposedly everyone is family, there are only a few strong relational groups, and newcomers have a hard time cracking them. It’s not out of meanness. The members of these groups simply have all the friends they can handle. The problem is that they don’t work to create new groups for new people, and over time the new people leave. Established members resist growth because they fear the increased demands on their time. Growth is a dirty word because it implies increased anonymity. It implies being a spectator instead of being a member of a community. You join to have your search and your integrity honoured and shared, and all there may be for you is a sermon, coffee hour, small-talk, and a job as a greeter or coffee-maker. If that’s so, it’s not what people want; it means you’re not being served. The point is to value and take care of each other. If we do that well enough, we will bring in new people, people we’ve reached, one by one, because we want them and they want us.

In one of the many congregational self-help books available, one by Kennon Callahan, called Twelve Keys to an Effective Church, the author describes the programmes offered in a congregation as functional rather than relational. We might think that having adult education or adult enrichment programmes is what most enhances the community life of the congregation. Glenn Turner asks us to do some hard thinking about that. He refers to yet another writer, Carl George, who makes two key points about congregational activities. He says that relational groups focus on our lives, and that relational groups bigger than 10 people cease to be relational in their impact. Many, or even most, of our programmes are focused on learning about something, although courses like Building Your Own Theology or Writing Your Spiritual Autobiography tend to be more relational. I tend to think that what made "You Can Be a Hero" satisfying, and what makes the Womynspirit Circle a success, and what makes parts of The New U (the sharing parts) more successful than the history or organizational parts, is that they’re relational -- they focus on the lives of the people in them rather than on learning about something outside. If we offer mostly programmes which teach about something, instead of groups which help us to know one another better, the most valuable thing about a congregation -- its community -- may be lost.

So how might we restructure a congregation in order to provide the relational quality of spiritual development which UU people, like so many others, are looking for? We say we want inspiration, a religious community and spiritual growth. We want life-affirming worship. We want to be part of an intimate circle of friends. We want to nurture our own spiritual life. But among all our committees and activities we have relatively few groups which resemble spiritual relationship groups, in which the individual members share their experiences, reflect upon them and explore their individual journeys together. This is something we need to take seriously. At the moment, many of us find we have to go outside the congregation to learn meditation, prayer, Tai Chi, Yoga, or journaling. So, are YOU being served? Do we have enough relational groups here to meet your needs? It could be, and in many congregations it is coming about, that everyone wants and expects to be in a relational group. It would simply be what the congregation does, along with Sunday services.

Programmes which educate us about something outside our lives, however worthy those programmes and that education may be, appeal to our identity as well-educated, curious, seekers after the truth. They have the potential for intellectual elitism, which small-group ministry does not. This kind of ministry taps into the caring aspect of our nature. It puts our intellect at the service of humanity. Small relational groups have the potential to address our own hurts and hopes and those of the people around us. Catholics, Muslims, Pentecostals, Baptists, all share this same concern. But as Unitarian Universalists we have our own theological uniqueness to bring to bear on it.

Ours is a radical respect for an individual’s freedom of conscience. We don’t expect conformity as the price of community. Our lack of certainty about even our own answers to life’s questions helps us empathize with the concerns of others. Glenn Turner, who grew up as a Universalist, recalls that when he came to the conclusion that there was no literal heaven for all the people we hoped would end up there, he realized it’s up to us to help people in this life whose lives would be hell without our intervention. That "help" is ministry. The question is: How is a congregation best organized to deliver ministry? How can we all best serve and be served? One possible answer, the one that I’ve been focusing on today and will be exploring in various ways for some months to come, is small group ministry.

Surprisingly, perhaps, the first big hurdle in making the transition to a small group ministry in congregations with ministers has been found to be the self-image of the minister. Even Unitarian Universalist ministers are primarily trained to be "shepherds of the flock". We’re used to establishing our identity as the primary preacher, care-giver, counsellor, community spokesperson, and so on. The reward for this is very great, unless we burn out: we are affirmed and loved. We tend to resist anything that might interfere with this affirmation and love. Did you know that, although we’re embarrassed to admit it, most ministers actually like to be the centre of attention, that we overestimate our own importance, and that we’re even more individualistic than other UUs? But if we can let go of our power and develop lay leadership, then the congregation can really strengthen and grow, and we don’t have to be everywhere, involved in everything.

The power of small group ministry is marvellous, but it calls for the learning of a few basic skills. It takes the experience of being in a group and learning from it. Congregations may be resistant to the small group ministry idea, too. Most individuals are excited about the possibilities when they hear about them. They feel it would give them what they’re looking for, that they would indeed be served by that kind of ministry. But there are some people who see it as leading to a different kind of congregation than the one they joined. It asks more of them personally and may seem threatening. It’s one thing to share ideas, another to share your life! One thing to debate another person’s theories, another to respond to their soul. Then, there’s the question of time, and the persistent idea that people don’t have enough of it any more, that there are too few people for too many jobs. This may have to do with the unrewarding nature of most of the jobs. Struggling for institutional survival saps energy. When we’re not being served, not getting what we came for (spiritual inspiration, community, religious growth) then what we do in the service of the congregation is tiring. But being fed spiritually and communally is energizing. When things are going well, people somehow have time and energy to participate, because in their participation they’re being served.

Most of us would probably agree that the sharing of "Joys and Sorrows" is an important part of our Sunday services. A few seconds each, a few minutes altogether -- that’s all the time for the sharing which we hope is picked up by a friend or the Minister for further elaboration. Or perhaps, once heard, the joy or sorrow is forgotten. In small group ministry, a large part of any meeting is taken up with sharing what’s going on in one’s life. The group’s focus in on the stuff of our lives: births, relationships, work, death, our passions and concerns. When a group member is sick, the group send cards, call, visit at the hospital, take food. This is the group of people who will hear us and reflect with us and share their wisdom. It means the Minister is not "the" person who is part of everyone’s life. The ministry is literally shared. The Minister is able to train people to lead groups, to encourage others to join in the process, and to grow along with the congregation.

Eventually, in the experience of those who’ve been involved in it, small group ministry affects the way the whole congregation functions. It affects worship, as ministry teams are built, utilizing people’s talents in drama, speaking, music, aesthetics. It affects social action, as it mobilizes people to involve themselves in the community. It affects the two major aspects of what the congregation is -- a community we belong to (that is, intimacy) and a community that can provide some meaning (that is, ultimacy).

Some of you remember the "extended families" which arose in many congregations and fellowship in the 60s and 70s. You know what needs they spoke to and why they failed. They spoke to our need for relationships and connection in a highly mobile society. But despite the dinners and outings and social gatherings, the extended families usually didn’t structure any consistent opportunity to explore life in any depth. It was very friendly, but very "hit and miss." Small group ministry, on the other hand, structures and nurtures caring relationships in a group of manageable size. It’s not a class. It’s not systematic learning, but it provides an ongoing opportunity for us to explore life issues in a religious context. It can help us all to feel that we are being served.

I’ll end by suggesting that this concept fits beautifully with our Unitarian Universalist Principles and Purposes. First, the very nature of the small group process affirms the worth and dignity of each of its members. It’s about justice, equity and compassion in the way it invites in the people who are not now guests at anyone’s table. It’s all about acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth. It’s the setting for a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. The right of conscience is always underscored, and it’s democratic to the core. It’s probably unrealistic to expect that undertaking small group ministry will usher in a world community with peace, liberty and justice for all, but it may help us move a little further in that direction. Depending on what materials are discussed, it could also foster respect for the interdependent web of life. It can lead to a fuller flowering of our Principles and Purposes.

Above all, small group ministry is not a one-shot course; it’s a continuing conversation of people who come to know, trust and care for each other. It’s what community is all about, and so I commend it to you. Are you being served? If so, this is a way to share your bounty with others. If not, this is a way you might feel more served. So may it be.